July 1, 2004

Another courtroom thriller moment: You can't handle the truth!

"What do you mean I'm out of order?
You're out of order,
this whole courtroom is out of order!"

Litigation, litigation, litigation

Scott kindly provided us with the translated transcript of the proceedings:

Judge-"Mr. Saddam, the court would like to know more about the chemical agents. You know, the ones that you used to get your hair to look so...presidential, today."

Hussein-"First, let me thank the Coalition Provisional Authority for sponsoring my wardrobe, a nice Armani suit from Jordan. It's necessary to understand that ties are no longer needed in situations especially no longer with white dress shirts, as used to be the acceptance"

Judge-"The chemical agents, sir. We asked you about the products you are using"

Hussein-"It's a styling gel, a generic, that is provided in a little plastic bottle in all of the Coalition Provisional Authorities hotel rooms...I mean, cells. But they also have conditioners and these little soaps that have "C.P.A." embossed on them. And they smell like almonds. My skin has really improved as of late."

Judge-"Can you tell us whether you are dying your hair?"

Hussein-"I am the President of Iraq! You tell ME if YOU are dying your hair."

Judge-"You are out of order..."

Hussein-"No, you are...this whole court is out of order. Who would ASK such a question of me? Of ME? You, you who wear a simple $6 dollar crew cut...what did they use, a bowl around your head, boy?"

That's all the transcript I have so far...

That's Scott's transcript. Thanks again, Scott.